Whenever I see couples on the street, I'll think, are they simply so loving, or
they are just like us, having problems behind the happy faces...
In the past, I'll never think twice to give. Because of this, I guess maybe he was trained to take as I am the one who gave. I'll never hesitate to do anything for him just to make him happy. But today, I shall have second thought when I want to give, again.
We are so-called "special" in a way. The reason I shall keep it as a secret. He doesn't like too many things. I just don't know why. Because he has his own way of living a life, his own way to treat a girl he calls a girlfriend, a lover. Too much of his own way.
Everytime when I promise myself to stop giving, or to treat him normal, just like the way he treats me. But i can't do it. I just can't do it. I bear not to treat him bad. Even I'll become a clown like nobody's business, I'll not mind. I just want to show my love. Expressing my love by saying "i love you" to him everyday seems a daily routine to him, but to me, it's not!! I say it with my sincere heart. I really mean it when I say it.
Not that he is that bad... Sometimes he is good also. As I mentioned in the past, how we celebrated our v-day and all that. Even people thinks that I deserve a better one, I'll insist because I love him. I just can't love another guy. NO!
I know he'll be angry when reading this. He always said that I'll be happy to let the whole world know things between us. He can never think another way. I also have my own way to release everything in my heart. Unlike him, he can keep it to himself. Too much of crying ain't the way.
I think I should learn from my housemate. Learn to take. Girls always give. It's so unfair. I'm so happy that she had found another guy who treats her just like the way that every girls dream of. I know I should not be so demanding to request my boy treats me just like him. But at least, not in a hurtful way. It's so hurt to know someone you love refuse to even accept what you've planned for them.
Way too hurtful.
Maybe I'm not good enough to be his ideal one. But I have been trying so hard to change myself for the better. I sincerely hope that one day he'll realise my efforts. There are too many compromises to learn, to tolerate, to ..............